The title of this post is the best way I know to describe where I am right now: "in medias res" is a literary term that basically means "in the middle." I find myself, at best, in the middle of a situation I would not have chosen for myself: living with my parents as an adult, wife, mom, and soon-to-be mother of two. I say that I am "at best" in the middle of that because we have been here just over two months, with at least two months to go.
I am starting here, where I am, and I will be going back to recount some of the ways in which God has led us to this less-than-ideal place, not to complain about it but to show how He has clearly directed me, provided along the way, and is teaching me things about life that perhaps I could be learning no other way. I hope that doing so will be an encouragement to you in your walk of faith--"the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen" (Hebrews 11:1).
Abraham "went out, not knowing where he was going" (v. 8) and, like the other positive examples of Hebrews 11, was able to have such faith only because he was living for another city, country, world. I've come to the conclusion that in order to do more than survive and "cope" with life's uncertainties and disappointments and truly even approach the idea of "considering it pure joy" when difficulties come (James 1) I too must nurture and truly embrace such a focus.
When I was in the middle of a previous trial that has led to my current situation (my husband was a pastor in a difficult church situation) I told a wise and dear friend of mine that I couldn't handle it. I was pregnant and tired and lonely and felt ultimately "stuck." She shared with me some of her personal struggles and encouraged me with hard words: "you need to put your armor on and get ready to fight." (I think she had Ephesians 6 in mind, and wouldn't you know that I would hear two sermon series on that topic in the coming months!)
I told her I didn't want to fight; I wanted to coast and just enjoy life with my babies (1 Thessalonians 4:11). I can't remember what she said to that, but I'm sure many of you can relate. Like my friend's words to me, I hope that learning about my current journey through my words on this blog, as I'm "in the middle of things" that I don't like, will be the same kind of encouragement to you when you're there too.