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I know I haven't really blogged here in, like, forever. For a while, it was because I didn't want to share what was going on in life because it was hard and contained too many unknowns. Then, I was blogging on a site called Goodblogs, now practically defunct, which often paid me to blog. That was also the case with my most recent posts on here, even though the experiences and opinions I expressed were genuinely my own. While I'm not terribly fond of those sponsored posts, writing for which I do get paid is something that I need to prioritize right now, even if there are other topics and formats I prefer.
More recently, my excuses have been getting settled into our new place, becoming increasingly active in our church, and finally getting into an awesome rhythm and achieving major goals with my paid writing. (In the mean time, I did get some fun pics of the boys taken this summer. These are two of my faves.)
Lately, though, I've been remembering why I started blogging in the first place, just over a year ago: I wanted an outlet, a way to connect beyond my living room walls, and a way to remember what God has been teaching me in life and possibly help others through such times. From that, a love for the written word was re-awakened, and God used that rekindled passion, mixed with encouragement and leads from long-time friends, to get me started in the exciting and mommy-friendly world of freelance writing. But I digress.
I want to get back to writing here, at least once a week or every two weeks, in keeping with that original purpose: "I hope that learning about my current journey through my words on this blog, as I'm 'in the middle of things' that I don't like, will be the same kind of encouragement to you when you're there too."
While we're still somewhat in "temporary mode" (Jonathan is still actively searching for another pastoral position, after a year-and-a-half), we've moved to a larger (and even more affordable!) place that feels more like home, been relieved from financial "emergency mode" and have actually been the ones to end communication with potential churches ourselves, because they would not be good situations or good fits for our family and views. God has used those recent developments to help us at least feel more settled here and thankful for the church family we have.
Along with our move and subsequent signing of a full year's lease (one we can get out of, if we need to, though), we finally became members of our church. That step has enabled us to get involved in ways we weren't able to before, and I'm especially relishing the chance to teach again--something that I'd really missed. (This month, Jonathan and I are co-teaching the 5 to 7 kiddos who come to children's church.)
In the midst of all these changes (coupled with the constant transitions that come with having boys who are constantly changing and growing at mind-boggling rates!), I'm thankful for the fact that there is One who does not change. He deserves our praise, in the autumn rain, frozen darkness or smiling sunshine. This song has been a rebuke and inspiration to me, as have these verses.
We've seen the smiling hand of Providence direct in our lives by stopping short of giving us our hearts' desires, particularly in the timing we'd prefer. But I'll save the details of those graciously unanswered prayers for another post.
I hope to start posting on a weekly basis, once again. Josh is getting 1-year pics tomorrow, so you can look for a few of those to be posted, soon! I might even have to devote a full post to mommy-gushing, celebrating some of my little guys' most recent achievements and [mis]adventures!
Well, that's it for now. It feels good to be back. Thanks for reading.
If you've been following my story of this in-between time, you may remember this post, one of my first, about "expecting" versus "waiting," that I wrote back in September. I just thought that I was antsy about moving on, back then! The best analogy to how I feel is something other moms may understand--you know how you feel that last month of your pregnancy, or even the last week? Words like tired, anxious, achy, come to mind.
In addition, though, you're unable to focus on anything else besides the strong physical and emotional need to have the pregnancy over! Of course, you would never want it over prematurely, risking your health and the baby's, so you remind yourself you should be thankful for carrying the child full-term, but there is still that incredible restlessness, unease, angst that overshadows every thought.
That's how I feel, lately. But unlike pregnancy, there is no due date, due week, due month--no promises that this "transition time" will end anytime soon. And as summer approaches, I find myself grieving, in a way.
We'd planned to buy a porch swing for last summer, and we'd planted strawberries in the garden. We never got to buy our swing, though, and we at least hope someone else besides the squirrels enjoyed the berries we'd planted. Jonathan was going to build a swingset for the boys, too. Not only did he not get to do that last summer, but he won't get to do it this summer, either.
And we'll be moving again, because this apartment was a good choice for the short-term sublet, but not for the long-term. It's so hard to make wise choices while in "temporary mode." Just when the weather will be warmest, and I'll be wanting to take advantage of the pool that's in the complex, we'll be spending hours packing boxes once again, probably to a smaller place, instead.
I'm mailing out another intro. packet to a church tomorrow, and Jonathan's boss seems hopeful that he could get Jonathan in on a next-level-up position that would mean decent pay. A church with which he had a phone interview 4 weeks ago tomorrow still hasn't contacted him back, even though they said they would, either way--par for course.
The writing contest was a fun diversion, and I'm not ashamed of coming in 2nd out of 120 or so writers, even though it turned into more of a popularity contest than a writing contest. (I was encouraged, too, by how many friends helped me out, and I credit them with my placement, which doesn't make sense considering the winner had over 1,000 more FB friends than I!) Some other writing gigs seem to be coming through, though, so some extra funds are coming in. Just nothing regular like the Momsquawk position would be. But the issue isn't just financial.
In the mean time, we can't plan on any kind of vacation, even an inexpensive one, because Jonathan wants to save any vacation time he has in case a church asks him to visit.
I just want something to look forward to, some timeframe that gives me hope that this tunnel will end.
The Resurrection gives me hope, and I'm glad this world isn't all there is, but I can't help wanting something to change for now, today, this month, this year.
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